Why is it so hard to be good sometimes? Ah me. Usually I'm okay (I think) at it, but not when it comes to a few things such as getting enough sleep, attending ward prayer, and punctuality. When my natural man self takes over, I am often tempted to stay up late, skip ward prayer, and procrastinate just enough so that I'll be 5 or 10 minutes late. I'll stop speaking in vague, abstract language and give you an example.
Last night I went over to the family's for dinner and a music practice. After the practice I went over to Ryan's house to drop off Tyler, his younger brother who is kind enough to sing in the musical number with us, and to say hello to his family for a bit. We had only been there about twenty minutes when I realized I needed to leave then to get to ward prayer on time. Ah ward prayer. I have mixed feelings about this aspect of BYU wards. I understand why they have it--bonding, "family" time for the ward family in a relaxed setting, a nice ending to the Sabbath, it makes students feel more at home, and it's a great time to try out your pick-up line on that cute girl (or guy) you've been eying the past couple of weeks. All very true statements. But...I would rather spend time with my REAL family than my 8-month BYU family. So, the dilemma is thus: do I leave my family on Sunday nights to go to my ward prayer where I don't really even enjoy it that much (or at all)? Should I skip out on spending quality time with my family, the people I'll be with for eternity, to kneel down in a crowded lobby with people who I'll only be with for another month and a half? I'm not sure... My guilt complex tells me to go to ward prayer. My common sense tells me to skip it.
I've skipped ward stare, I mean ward prayer, the past three or four weeks. So yesterday I decided I would make an effort and go even though I didn't want to. We left Ryan's house, grabbed my flute and some bread pudding from my family's, and I rushed off to Fox Hall. I reached the doors to the lobby just as the bell tower was striking 8:30. I was thinking, "Perfect! I'm on time and everything!" when a feeling of pure horror overcame me.
The lobby was completely empty. What? WHAT? EMPTY???
Of course...now I remember the bishop announcing last week that since it was Stake Conference on the ninth, we wouldn't have ward prayer that night. Lovely. I even tried so hard. Why oh why.
Sometimes it just seems like I can't win. But I know, of course, that that is most certainly and completely untrue. Maybe the solution to my small dilemma involves a) enjoying and living up the 3 hours I usually spend with the family on Sunday nights b) forcing myself to get to ward prayer on time and c) having a good attitude about the whole thing.
Done. No more complaining. That's that. And if you call me at 8:30 next Sunday night, I won't answer...I think you'll know where I am.